“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”– Mark Twain
Let’s just turn that into “A person cannot be comfortable without their own approval.” I’ve been reflecting on conditioning and it’s effects on us. “Be a good little girl and don’t cause a fuss.” I read a Facebook post of a friend who asked a man to stop talking to her in the library, she could feel the conditioned part of her saying, “Be a good little girl and be polite.” She did, however, tell him that he was invading her space, which he was, he walked away calling her a horrid name. She sat there quietly congratulating herself for speaking her truth. That was awesome.
This highlighted two things, firstly, the oppressive weight of years of conditioning heaped on every single one of us. Secondly, there is a solid comfortable strength that comes from doing what feels right and approving of yourself despite what anyone else thinks. Similarly, we are conditioned to call others out for not sticking neatly to their little box of belonging. ‘The conditioned-self-policing syndrome.’ I just coined that phrase. You are welcome.
We have all been conditioned to be “good little people,” it starts at home and then at school. We are conditioned to respect authority without question. Unless you have a dad like mine, who purposefully showed me, by example, how to disobey authority. His trust had been broken at an early age by authority figures and his gift to me was to say “do what you like.” Another warning bell was given to me by my mother, “doctors are another figure of authority that people follow without question but they can be bad.” Her father, my Grandpa was a mentally ill doctor who abused his position in power. Of course, some authority figures can be trusted but authority, in and of itself, should not be trusted without question.
How many times have you swallowed your voice when you should have spoken up for yourself or others? How many times have you allowed yourself to be pushed around because you thought you should be ‘good’ rather than being true to yourself? I know for me it’s too many times. I have internal fights with my conditioning,
I believe we all have an internal GPS that will guide us soundly. Trust in that quiet voice inside that knows the truth. Then back yourself up with a good dose of
Just be you, (a previous blog)
Remember your inside world is where your truth lives and “life is but a dream.”