Ego backlash, what is it? I love a visual analogy. At the end of part one of Lord of the Rings, Gandalf sets a boundary with a big firey demon in the mountain. He slams down his staff shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” The bridge splits and the creature falls into the chasm. Gandalf turns to leave and just as he breathes a sigh of relief a whip comes up out of nowhere and knocks him off balance. As a result, he falls down into a bottomless pit locked in a battle with the monstrous creature.
STEP OUT THAT COMFORT ZONE AND WHOOSH!
In this case the monster is your ego, the whip is the backlash and you are Gandalf. You do something that’s challenging like set a boundary or get vulnerable. Later your ego gives you a lashing. What’s that all about?
Technically your ego is just trying to keep you safe but it’s misguided. When you step out and try something new, for example, Stand Up Comedy. Your ego hates it. Stepping out of your comfort zone makes the ego crazy mad. When you come off stage, instead of saying, “hey that was brave” it’s more likely to say “you’re no Robin Williams, you should quit now.” An ego backlash looks like negative self-talk. This is the ego’s effort to keep you small.
WHAT DOES YOUR EGO SAY TO YOU?
You may not be able to stop the ego doing its thing but you can take the power out of it. Just observe the ego. Thank it for caring about you even if it’s going about it all the wrong way. Share what you are feeling with a friend. Speak about it in the third person, “my ego is telling me to go and live in a hole in the ground,” just try it. You are not your ego, you are an innocent child of the universe.
NOW GO AND GET ON WITH BEING YOUR AWESOME BEST SELF!
Don’t let your ego bring you down, it happens and that’s ok. Read my short blog on confidence here.
Have a brilliant Saturday,
Love from Lizzie xx